Let's talk about something most of us are terrible at: noticing when things are going well. We're really good at noticing when things go wrong. When the morning is rough, we remember it all day. When our kid has a meltdown, it sticks with us. When we miss a goal or skip a routine, we feel it. But when things go smoothly? When our kid handles frustration better than they used to? When we make it through the week doing the thing we said we'd do? We barely notice. It just become

Let's talk about the gap between knowing what you want to do and actually doing it consistently. You know you want to read with your kids more. You know bedtime would go smoother with a consistent routine. You know family dinner would be nice if you could pull it off regularly. But knowing what you want and making it happen are two very different things. This is where small consistent routines come in. Not the color-coded, requires-military-precision kind of routines. The rea

Let me guess: you've set family goals before. Maybe you wanted to eat dinner together more often, or get the kids to bed on time, or have smoother screen time transitions, or just feel more connected as a family. And let me guess again: those goals probably lasted a few weeks, maybe a month if you were really motivated, before they quietly faded into the chaos of regular life. It's not your fault. And it's not because your family is uniquely difficult or you're not trying ha

Let's start with something that might feel a bit uncomfortable: looking back at last year without immediately jumping to what you should have done differently. I know, I know. When most of us think about the past year, we default to the lowlight reel. The times we lost our temper. The goals we didn't hit. The routines that fell apart by March. The moments we felt like we were failing at this whole parenting thing. But what if we flipped the script? What if, instead of catalog

Rethinking New Year's Resolutions Here's what happens every January: everyone sets big ambitious goals. Lose weight. Exercise daily. Be more patient. Achieve more. Transform completely. And for families with neurodivergent children , those resolutions often include things like: get my child to do X, fix Y behavior, master Z skill. Then by February, you're behind on the goals. Feeling like you've failed. Beating yourself up for not doing enough. Setting intentions for neurodi

The Social Performance Trap Let's talk about what happens at most holiday gatherings. Your child walks in and immediately gets swarmed. "Give grandma a hug!" "Say thank you for the present!" "Go play with your cousins!" "Tell everyone about school!" "Why are you being so quiet?" And when your child doesn't respond the way adults expect—when they don't make eye contact, or they walk away, or they need space—suddenly you're getting looks. Comments about manners. Suggestions abo

The Sensory Reality of December Nobody talks about this part. Everyone focuses on magic and joy. But for families with sensory-sensitive kids, the holidays are an endurance test. Think about what December actually involves: Visual:  Flashing lights everywhere. Bright colors. Screens playing holiday content on loop. New decorations change familiar spaces. Auditory:  Holiday music constantly. Crowds. Loud gatherings. Excited voices. Tactile:  Itchy sweaters. Tags on new gifts.

The Holiday Routine Paradox Let me guess: you've been told that kids with autism need routine. You've also been told that the holidays are supposed to be magical, spontaneous, full of surprises. Here's what I've learned: it can actually be both. But it requires rethinking what we mean by routine and letting go of what the holidays are "supposed" to look like. Predictable holiday routines  aren't about controlling every moment. They're about creating enough structure that your

Understanding Emotional Needs in Positive Parenting Your child throws their plate across the table. Or refuses to get dressed for the third morning in a row. Or hits their sibling over a toy. Your first instinct? Address the behavior. Stop the throwing. Enforce consequences. Make it clear that's not acceptable. But here's what positive parenting asks you to do first: look underneath the behavior to the emotion driving it. Because that plate didn't fly across the table because

The Thing Nobody Tells You Here's what most parenting advice skips over: your child's nervous system is constantly scanning yours for safety signals. This isn't conscious. They're not thinking "is mom stressed right now? Is dad upset?" Their body is reading your body - your tone, your breathing, your muscle tension, the energy you're putting out. When you're dysregulated, your child picks up on that. Even if you're using all the right words and doing all the right things, the

The Day I Stopped Trying to Fix Everything I remember the exact moment I realized I was doing emotional support all wrong. My child was having a complete meltdown over something that seemed small to me - a slight change in the afternoon routine. I was doing all the "right" things: offering solutions, suggesting coping strategies, reminding them of their tools. And it was making everything worse. My child didn't need me to fix it. They needed me to just be there while they fel

You're Already Doing More Than You Realize Let me guess - you've read the parenting books. You've sat through the parent training sessions. You're implementing strategies at home and trying to stay consistent with what the therapists are doing. And some days, you still feel like you're getting it all wrong. If that sounds familiar, take a breath. You're not failing. You're navigating something that's genuinely complex. Positive parenting for ABA families isn't about being per

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