Seeing the Siblings Too

Brigid here.

Last week, we shared a blog from the Precision team about supporting siblings and family relationships. I wanted to follow up with my own story.

I am the older sister of an autistic brother.

I sat in the waiting rooms of therapy offices. I was there for the moments that happen in so many of your homes. The long days. The hard behaviors. The intensity. The love. The exhaustion. I experienced that too.

And for a long time, I did not have language for what that meant for me.

I was always introduced as my brother’s sister, even though I was older. I was the one who was expected to hold it together when he could not. I was capable. I was responsible. I had expectations placed on me that, looking back, were often higher than what was age appropriate.

I noticed the fun things he got to do. I noticed the flexibility built around his needs. I noticed how much attention his support required. None of that meant I loved my brother any less. It meant I was navigating a different set of expectations at a very young age.

Looking back, there are a few things that would have made a meaningful difference for me.

Being seen separately would have mattered.

Not as “the sibling.”

Not as “the helper.”

-Just as me.

It also would have mattered to cut me some slack sometimes.

Not always. Not forever. Just sometimes.

A little flexibility when I was struggling too. A moment where the expectations on me eased, even briefly. A signal that it was okay if I did not always have it together.

That does not mean my parents did anything wrong. They were doing the best they could in a situation that demanded a lot. But kids notice these things, even when they do not have the words to explain them.

Here is what I want parents to hear now.

Your other children are compassionate. They care deeply. They understand more than you think. But they also need to be seen as individuals, not only in relation to their sibling.

They need to know that they are allowed to need things too.

They need to know that everyone in the family is on the same team, and that their role is not to manage their own needs quietly so someone else can take up space.

Making room for siblings does not mean taking anything away from your child who needs support. It means widening the circle just enough so everyone feels held.

Sometimes that looks like one‑on‑one time.

Sometimes it looks like cutting expectations a little.

Sometimes it looks like simply noticing and naming what might be hard.

Small things can matter more than you realize.

And I grew up to build a company that specializes in serving people just like my brother. My care, my compassion, and my commitment to this work are deeply shaped by those early experiences.

Your children are learning empathy. They are learning flexibility. They are learning love.