Beyond the Intake Form: How to Have ABA Client Intake Conversations That Actually Matter

I've sat through hundreds of intake meetings. I've conducted them, I've supervised them, I've reviewed recordings of them. And here's what I can tell you: most of us are doing them wrong.

Not catastrophically wrong. Just... incompletely wrong. We're asking the questions we're supposed to ask, filling out the forms we're supposed to fill out, and somehow still walking away without the information we actually need.

You know what I'm talking about. You get three sessions in and discover the child has a major sensory issue nobody mentioned. Or you design a beautiful communication program only to find out the family doesn't actually use any of your recommended strategies at home. Or you're six weeks into intervention when a parent casually drops that their child had a traumatic experience that completely reframes everything you've been doing.

And you think: why didn't anyone tell me this in the intake?

The answer is usually simple: nobody asked. Or they asked, but not in a way that invited an honest answer.

Why Standard ABA Client Intake Conversations Fall Short

Here's the problem with most intake conversations: they're designed to gather data, not build relationships. And when families don't trust you yet, they give you surface-level answers that technically answer your questions but tell you almost nothing useful.

"How does your child communicate?" gets you "He doesn't talk much."

But what you needed to know was: he can say about 20 words but only uses them with his grandmother, he gets frustrated and aggressive when people don't understand him, the family has tried three different communication apps but gave up on all of them because nobody showed them how to use them consistently, and there's tension between the parents about whether he "should" be talking by now.

See the difference?

The intake form doesn't ask the wrong questions. It just asks them in a way that makes it easy for families to give you incomplete answers. And most families don't even realize they're doing it - they're just answering what you asked, not what you needed to know.

What to Ask vs. What to Observe in ABA Client Intake Conversations

Before we get into specific questions, let's talk about something more important: the questions you don't ask out loud.

While you're conducting your intake, you should be observing things that families won't think to tell you because they don't realize they're relevant. How does the parent interact with the child while you're talking? Do they answer for the child, or give them space to respond? When the child does something challenging, what's the parent's immediate reaction - and then what's their second reaction once they remember you're watching?

How does the parent talk about their child? Are they focused on deficits, or do they naturally mention strengths too? Do they seem exhausted, defensive, hopeful, skeptical? All of this tells you something about what you're walking into.

And here's the thing: if you're so focused on getting through your form that you miss these observations, you're missing half the assessment.

The Conversation Framework That Actually Works

Forget the linear intake form for a minute. Here's how I structure ABA client intake conversations now, and it's made a massive difference in the quality of information I get.

Start with the parent's biggest concern - not the referral reason, but what keeps them up at night. Ask it exactly like that: "What's the thing about your child's behavior that keeps you up at night?" You'll get a different answer than "What are your primary concerns?" because you're asking them to be real with you, not professional.

Then ask them to walk you through yesterday. Not a typical day - yesterday, specifically. What time did the child wake up? What happened at breakfast? What was hard? What went surprisingly well? This gives you actual data about their real life, not their idealized version of a typical day.

Ask about what they've already tried. Not just what therapies or interventions, but what strategies they've attempted on their own. What worked for a while and then stopped working? What did everyone tell them would help that actually made things worse? This tells you about their history, their resourcefulness, and their potential frustration with professional advice that doesn't translate to real life.

Here's a question I always ask that's not on any intake form I've ever seen: "What does your child do that brings you joy?" Watch how quickly parents can answer this. If they struggle, that tells you something important about where this family is emotionally.

Red Flags You Can't Afford to Miss

There are certain things that should immediately change your approach, and you need to know them before you start designing intervention plans.

Safety issues, obviously - but I'm not just talking about elopement or aggression. I'm talking about a parent who seems afraid of their child. A family that mentions "losing it" or "breaking down" in a way that suggests they're barely holding on. A child who shows concerning responses to adults that might indicate trauma.

Inconsistencies in the parent's story that might indicate they're trying to tell you what they think you want to hear instead of what's true. Mentions of previous providers that ended badly, especially multiple times - this tells you something about either the family's expectations or the quality of services they've received before.

Cultural or linguistic factors that are going to significantly impact your intervention but nobody's discussing them directly. Religious or cultural practices that will conflict with typical ABA recommendations if you don't address them upfront.

And here's one thing people miss all the time: signs that the family can't or won't implement what you're recommending, no matter how good your plan is. Maybe there are three other siblings who need attention. Maybe both parents work opposite shifts and there's no consistent routine possible. Maybe the extended family actively undermines any behavior plan. You need to know this stuff before you build a beautiful intervention that has no chance of working in their actual life.

Cultural Considerations in ABA Client Intake Conversations

Let's talk about something our field is still figuring out: how to conduct culturally responsive intakes without being patronizing or making assumptions.

First rule: don't ask "What's your culture?" like you're filling out a demographic form. Instead, ask about their family's values, priorities, and practices in a way that invites real conversation.

Ask how they typically handle challenging behavior in their family and community. Not so you can judge it, but so you can understand their framework and figure out how your recommendations can fit into it - or how you need to adapt your approach.

Ask about their experiences with professionals before you. Have they felt heard? Dismissed? Judged? This tells you what barriers you need to actively work against.

Ask about language use at home, but go deeper than "What languages do you speak?" Find out which language the child hears most, which one the parents use with each other versus with the child, whether different family members speak different languages. This affects everything from your assessment to your communication recommendations.

And here's the big one: ask about their goals for their child in a way that allows them to be honest if their goals are different from what they think you expect. Some families want full independence and inclusion. Some families want their child to be happy and safe within their current community structure. Neither is wrong, but if you're designing intervention for one goal and the family wants the other, nobody's going to be satisfied.

Follow-Up Priorities After the Intake

The intake conversation doesn't end when the meeting ends. What you do in the next few days determines whether you've built a foundation for collaboration or just completed paperwork.

Send a summary, but not a clinical report - a plain-language recap of what you heard them say about their priorities, their concerns, and their child's strengths. Ask if you got it right. This does two things: it shows them you were actually listening, and it gives them a chance to clarify anything you misunderstood before you build a whole plan around it.

Identify your top three questions you couldn't fully answer in the intake and figure out how you're going to get that information. Maybe it's a home observation. Maybe it's a follow-up conversation with another caregiver. Maybe it's watching video the family takes over the next week. But don't just move forward with gaps in your understanding.

Flag anything that's going to require coordination with other providers or systems before you can effectively intervene. If the child has sensory issues that need OT consultation, or medical issues that need physician input, or school behaviors that need educational team collaboration - get that process started now, not six weeks in when you've hit a wall.

And here's something I wish I'd learned earlier: schedule a check-in for two weeks after you start services, specifically to ask "How is this going for you? What are we missing?" Don't wait for the 30-day review. Most problems show up in week two, and catching them early makes all the difference.

When the Intake Reveals You're Not the Right Fit

Sometimes the honest intake conversation leads to an uncomfortable conclusion: you're not the right provider for this family. And that's okay - actually, it's better than okay. It's ethical.

Maybe their needs are outside your area of expertise. Maybe their values around intervention are fundamentally incompatible with your approach. Maybe the practical realities of their situation mean your services can't be implemented effectively.

Having that conversation early is hard, but it's a lot easier than having it six months in when everyone's frustrated and the child hasn't made progress.

When you refer out, be specific about why and where they might find a better match. Don't just say "I don't think we're a good fit" - explain what kind of provider or what kind of program might work better for their specific situation. And if you can, help them get connected rather than just sending them back to square one.

Reflect and Revisit

Think about your last intake conversation. Not the best one you ever had - your most recent one.

Did you get the information you needed to design effective intervention? Or did you get the information the form asked for and hope it would be enough?

What's one question you wish you'd asked? What's one thing you didn't notice until later that you could have caught in the intake if you'd been paying attention differently?

The intake conversation sets the tone for your entire relationship with a family. It's worth getting right.

Free Resource: New Client Intake Conversation Guide

It includes question prompts that go beyond the standard form, red flag indicators to watch for, cultural considerations often missed, and a follow-up priorities worksheet to make sure nothing falls through the cracks.

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