The Social Performance Trap Let's talk about what happens at most holiday gatherings. Your child walks in and immediately gets swarmed. "Give grandma a hug!" "Say thank you for the present!" "Go play with your cousins!" "Tell everyone about school!" "Why are you being so quiet?" And when your child doesn't respond the way adults expect—when they don't make eye contact, or they walk away, or they need space—suddenly you're getting looks. Comments about manners. Suggestions abo